Thursday, June 7, 2012

Adapting

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taken last night on a nice dessert/walk date at ABQ Uptown
Gabe is almost finished with his third week of classes, which means two things: first being that he has one week left before he starts having his own patients to care for during clinicals, and second- we've been doing this dance of being home together in the evenings for almost a month now. I was worried at first, to be honest. 
For the better part of six years I have worked days, and he, nights. We had our weekends together, mostly, and  lived for them. But this whole being together always except while being at work with other people was stressing me out a little. I am an introvert and I crave solitude. I am very comfortable on my own and loved the sanctuary I had for 4-5 hours, 5 nights a week. It re-energized and refreshed me.  Anyway, I was feeling a little smooshed in our small apartment.
So- what have I done about it? Number one: adjusted. I genuinely like Gabe. We are best friends and I love that we can be incredibly stupid and weird with each other without risking judgement. We have fun together, and are comfortable together, so please don't think that I'm trying to get away from him- we all just need a little space, and let me tell you, living in a 675 sq.ft. apartment doesn't give you much space. I've noticed that I spend a little more time in our bedroom than I used to, since he's usually studying (quietly, & without the tv turned on) in our living room. I sometimes read and I sometimes sleep. I've actually napped each day after work this week so far (no. I'm not pregnant.) & it's been nice.
Number two: When we found out that Gabe would be taking day time classes, I just assumed that I'd wake up early with him (his classes begin at 8 or earlier, and he has been commuting via bike and city bus, [yay for students riding for free!] so he has to be up EARLY by my standards) and then get to work/leave work earlier. Well, I have been waking up before he leaves most days, but instead of getting ready & heading to work earlier, I've been spending that time reading some of my favorite blogs, reading my soul detox devotional, or just enjoying being home by myself. In turn, this gives Gabe a little extra time by himself at home before I get home from work. Win/win, right? I think so, and it's actually been working great. I haven't been too grumpy at work in the mornings when someone comes up & talks to me earlyish (well, early for me anyway), and then when I get home, Gabe & I are genuinely happy to see each other.
Has your marriage/family gone through changes like this? What have you done to adapt? I'd love to know!

3 comments:

  1. Hang in there! You learn to adjust, and it sounds like you are well on your way. :)

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  2. this is such a positive post!! i love it, mandie!

    i feel like we are always in a "changes limbo" around here. caleb goes back & forth working days & nights at a whim depending on who is messing things up ;) or he deploys, etc. now that we are in japan they are told to always be ready to deploy within 48 hours so that's our latest adjustment!

    i'm glad you are doing well -- missing you friend!

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  3. We're in this too, friend. This spring I had two classes at night--and we got in a routine of Sam cooking for himself, and I would be home late. We'd catch 30 or so minutes together before bed.

    Now, as of Monday, I'm in two classes completely online in a month. We don't have the swing of it yet--since we're in a small apartment too and I need the quiet to study. I've found I can stay at work and try to study-so that Sam isn't a prisoner to the quiet study time in his own house.

    When I start nursing school full time (in January) I'm sure we'll have more adjusting to do. It's a learning process for us here, too.

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